What a fun convo with fellow marketer Sarah Gemmell! She helps small business owners and solopreneurs who don’t have a dedicated marketing team. Sarah has amazing advice around following up, whether to invest time and energy into free or paid networking and shares how we have gotten so scared of being salesy that we’ve flipped our possible business opportunities to the friend zone.
Timeline
02:06 Sarah’s Journey into Networking
03:49 Building a Productive Networking Group
05:27 Target Market and Marketing Strategies
07:34 Effective Follow-Up Techniques
12:05 Organizing and Managing Contacts
18:09 Identifying and Nurturing Referral Partners
25:12 Starting the Conversation by Building Trust and Authority
26:28 Aside: The Chicken Talk
27:42 Paid vs. Free Networking
30:24 The Value of Exclusive Networking Groups
33:54 Effective Follow-Ups
38:43 Sarah’s Impact of Networking Events
41:03 Key Takeaways and Final Thoughts
Resource Links
- Sarah’s Instagram Profile
Connect with Sarah at @sarahgummel - Sarah’s CRM
- Free Marketing Opportunity Quiz
A quick assessment that helps you pinpoint where your biggest marketing leak is and where you can see the fastest improvement. - Monthly Free Networking Meeting
Sarah’s open, non-exclusive networking group for entrepreneurs across industries to connect, collaborate, and build referral relationships.
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Networking has changed a lot over the last few years. On one hand, that is a good thing. A lot of events feel more genuine now and less like “Hi, here is my business card, please buy from me.”
On the other hand, something weird is happening.
Many of us, especially women in business, have swung so far away from selling that our networking has slipped into the friend zone. We’re building lovely connections that never turn into referrals, collaborations, or clients. Just more coffee chats on the calendar.
This post is pulled from my conversation with marketing strategist and networking pro, Sarah Gemmel, and it’s all about making your networking time lead to something real without feeling spammy, gross, or fake.
From Addictions Counselor To Global Fitness Brand To Networking Pro
Before Sarah ever taught networking and marketing, she was an addictions counselor. Then she moved into fitness, thinking, “Cute, I’ll charge $20 an hour and be my own boss.”
That opened the door to entrepreneurship, online business, and everything that comes with it… Marketing, sales, tech, funnels, the whole thing.
She grew her fitness business into a global platform, hitting consistent five figure months and serving women around the world during the pandemic.
One of her biggest growth drivers… Networking.
But not just “collect friends on Zoom” networking.
She got really good at:
- Building rapport fast
- Forming genuine relationships
- Turning those relationships into referrals, collaborations, and clients
When she sat down and asked herself, “What was the financial ROI on all these hours of networking?” she realized the key was strategy, not just “show up and see what happens.”
That is what eventually led to her current work of helping mid-stage entrepreneurs build holistic marketing strategies, with profitable networking as one piece of the puzzle.
Who Profitable Networking Is Really For
Sarah focuses on what she calls the mid entrepreneur. Not brand new, but not fully dialed in either.
These are the folks who:
- Have been in business a while
- Are doing “all the things” and calling it marketing
- Have some good months, but not consistent ones
- Aren’t clear on their messaging, funnel, or marketing channels
- Show up to a ton of networking events without a clear strategy
A lot of them are trying to use networking to grow, but:
- Their messaging is fuzzy
- They don’t know what to do with people after the coffee chat
- They feel weird following up
- And they definitely don’t want to feel “salesy”
So networking becomes social time instead of a channel that supports sales, content, and visibility.
The Friend Zone Problem In Networking
Here is where things have drifted off course.
Sarah’s take:
Networking has evolved a lot, and a little bit in the wrong direction. It’s gone too far into the friend zone for a lot of female entrepreneurs.
We are so afraid of being “salesy” that we overcorrect. We focus on:
- “Relationships first”
- “No selling”
- “Just connection”
All of that sounds nice, but if there isn’t any intention behind it, those relationships:
- Eat your calendar
- Don’t lead to collaborations
- Don’t send referrals
- Don’t help your revenue
You end up with lots of “business friends,” not business growth.
And yes, sometimes the calls are flat-out awkward.
Sarah’s joking-but-not-joking tip…
If you end up in a truly terrible Zoom breakout room with a wildly spammy person:
Pretend you froze and close the window. “Oh no, Zoom glitched!”
You don’t need to sit through a pitch disguised as “connection.”
The Art Of Follow Up Without Feeling Cringey
Everyone says “follow up, follow up, follow up.”
No one really explains what that looks like in networking situations.
Sarah breaks it down into something simple and human.
Step 1
Sort people into three buckets.
After a networking event, she asks herself what “category” each person falls into:
- Potential lead
- They raised their hand and said, “I need what you do”
- Potential referral or collaboration partner
- You serve similar audiences in different ways
- Vibe-only connection
- You like each other, but you aren’t sure how it fits business-wise yet
Each bucket gets a different type of follow up.
Step 2
Be direct and transparent
Skip the vague “How’s business?” messages that you secretly hope will transition into a pitch. People feel that.
Instead, Sarah suggests messages like:
- For a potential referral partner
“Hey, it was great meeting you at [event]. Based on your intro, I think we serve a similar audience in different ways. I would love to explore what referrals or collaborations could look like between us. Want to schedule a coffee chat?” - For a potential client who raised their hand
“Hey, when we were on that call, you mentioned you needed help with [thing you do]. If that’s still true, I would love to set up a call and talk about what you’re looking for in your marketing.”
Short, honest, and clear. No bait and switch.
Step 3
Remember the rule about selling in networking
No one is saying “never sell.”
If someone clearly identifies themselves as a lead, it would be doing them a disservice not to follow up and invite a conversation about working together.
The key is:
- Let them identify as a lead
- Stay out of DMs pitching strangers from out of nowhere
- Don’t jump from “we met once” to “my offer is $1,500, do you want it”
That is the part that feels gross and spammy, because it is.
How To Track Your People Without Losing Your Mind
If you network even a little, you know how quickly people pile up. Business cards, Zoom chats, Instagram DMs, random notes on paper.
Sarah’s view is the tool matters less than whether you will use it.
Some options she recommends:
Option 1
Simple spreadsheet
Perfect if you love spreadsheets. You can even:
- Paste Zoom chat into an AI tool
- Ask it to output a clean table
- Drop that into Google Sheets
Track basic information like:
- Name
- Business
- Category (lead / referral / vibe)
- Where you met
- Next step
Option 2
Project boards
For people who like more visual setups, she has seen folks use:
- Asana boards
- Trello boards
Each event or month can be a list, and each person can be a card with notes, links, and next steps.
Option 3
Social “saved” folders
If many people hang out on the same platform, you can:
- Save one of their posts
- Put it into a folder like “Aligned networking group”
Then when you want to follow up, you just open that folder to see who is in that “bucket.”
Option 4
Use CRM for deeper relationships.
Sarah only adds people to her CRM once they have had a real coffee chat and there’s clear mutual value.
She keeps them:
- Off her main email list unless they opted in
- Out of automated sales funnels they didn’t ask for
- In a separate list for referral and collaboration partners
Sometimes, she sets up light automations like:
- A reminder every few months to reach out
- A gentle “Hey, it’s been a while, how are you? Want to catch up?”
No pressure. Just thoughtful touchpoints.
Protecting Your Time And Energy
Sarah is very intentional about who gets a coffee chat on her calendar.
She:
- Pre-qualifies people in the DMs or through repeated group interactions
- Asks targeted questions
- Watches for alignment between audiences and offers
Some of her personal red flags:
- Someone who doesn’t know their offer
- Someone who’s unclear on who they serve
- Someone whose audience doesn’t overlap at all with hers
- Someone who messages “I would love to see how I can serve your people” and then uses that as a setup to pitch her
If there’s no real overlap or clarity, it’s hard to build a referral partnership that benefits both sides.
And if it’s just “we get along, but there’s no business fit,” that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. It just means you keep that on personal time, not in the middle of your workday calendar.
What To Say To The “Vibe But Not Sure Yet” People
We all have those people where you think, “I like you a lot, but I’m not sure what this is yet.”
Sarah’s advice… name it.
She would say something like:
“Hey, I love your energy and I really enjoy you. I’m not totally clear yet on what a referral or collaboration partnership would look like for us, but I would love to explore it. Do you feel the same? Are you open to that conversation?”
If they don’t respond, there’s your answer.
If they say yes, you now have permission to explore together without pretending you both know exactly where things are headed. That honesty builds trust.
Paid Networking vs Free Networking
Sarah’s a fan of both, with some discernment.
Free networking
Great for:
- Trying new groups
- Meeting a range of people
- Getting comfortable in different rooms
These tend to be:
- Casual coffee hours
- Open Zoom mixers
- Low structure, lots of mingling
They’re useful, but sometimes a slower path to clear ROI.
Paid networking
She looks for things like:
- Will I get a chance to share my introduction with the room?
- Is there structure and intention, not just mingling?
- Is there a cap on categories so I can be the only one in my field?
She is especially willing to pay for:
- Groups that have one person per category
- Regular meetings where members actively pass referrals
- Events where the structure and attendees clearly match her goals
What she doesn’t find valuable:
- Being in a directory that no one checks
- Being “allowed” to promote in a dead Facebook group
- Paying for casual coffee hours that don’t offer anything more than the free groups
You get clearer over time on what is worth it by trying things, seeing what happens, and adjusting.
Don’t Overcomplicate Your Follow Ups
Here’s the part that might surprise you.
Follow up isn’t nearly as complicated as we make it.
Sarah’s guidelines:
- Be human
- Add a small personal detail if you remember one
- Be clear about why you are reaching out
- Ask for permission before dropping links or offers
- Know what you want to get out of the relationship
- Know what you can offer in return
A simple message like:
“Hey, it was great meeting you at [event]. I loved what you said about [detail]. How can I support you this month?”
That alone can lead to:
- Collaboration ideas
- Referrals in both directions
- A next-level conversation that feels natural, not forced
The Takeaway
If you remember nothing else, keep this in mind:
- Stop friend zoning your networking. You do not need to turn every connection into a sale, but you also do not need to treat all of it like social hour.
- Have a simple system. A way to track people, a few buckets for who is who, and some basic follow up rhythms will go a long way.
- Be direct and kind. Tell people why you are reaching out, what you noticed about them, and what you would love to explore together.
- Stay active, not passive. Do not wait months hoping someone will pop back into your world. Take the lead and check in.
When in doubt, ask one simple question
“How can I support you?”
That alone can open doors you did not even know were there.
