This episode was inspired by a friend’s IG post on consistency. I feel like I’ve struggled with it so I decided to ask myself, what does consistency mean to me. How do I stay consistent? The answer turned out to be through resiliency. In this episode, I explore the idea of resiliency as I see it and I’ve also brought in four fellow business owners to weigh in with their stories. Plus I share 6 ways to build that resiliency muscle.
Timestamps
00:27 Defining Consistency and Resiliency
00:51 Exploring Resiliency
01:27 Personal Story: Falling Off the Horse
03:39 Diana Knezevici’s resiliency definition
03:59 Sheila Kofahl’s Tree in the Storm Analogy
05:02 Resiliency in Business
06:23 Six Ways to Build Resiliency
06:27 Refocus Your Attention
07:23 Phone a Friend
07:55 Leslie Marshall’s story of resiliency
09:08 Less Social Media
10:21 Acknowledge and Accept
11:01 Find Optimism
11:34 Isabel Chen’s advice for resiliency
12:33 Respond Intentionally
14:26 Final Thoughts on Resiliency
Resources
- Leslie Marshall • Wyldflower Nomad
Website | Instagram - Sheila Kofahl • And Then She Did
Website | Instagram - Diana Knezevici • Embodied Leadership Coach
Website | Instagram - Isabel Chen • Fairy Fox Digital
Website | Instagram | Pinterest
- Tool of the Week 👉 SEO Pro Extension.
The most clean and simple extension to see the headings and other SEO details for a single page on your website. - Recommended Podcast 👉 from Diary of a CEO, with Brené Brown: The Algorithms Have Forced Us Into A Hidden Epidemic, This Is The Only Way Out!
The title would have you believe it’s a bit on the chaos side or pulling at your panic feelers. In fact, it was a wonderful conversation about so many things. Trust being one of them that I particularly enjoyed.
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…
“Consistency isn’t meant to look like rigidity.” Let me repeat that.
“Consistency isn’t meant to look like rigidity.”
That phrase was said by Emily Aborn of Small Business Casual podcast on her Instagram.
It made me stop and think… and no this isn’t ChatGPT talking. Damn that tool stops and thinks a lot despite it not having the capability, doesn’t it? Moving on…
It made me stop and think, what does consistency mean to me? How do I see it?
How do Iiiii stay consistent? My answer is through resiliency.
I want to explore the idea of resiliency as I see it and I’ve also brought in four fellow business owners to weigh in with their stories. I’m going to share 6 ways to build that muscle.
When it comes to resiliency, I’m reminded of the quote that loosely states when you fall of a horse, you get back up and go again. It’s about getting over the fear of falling off a horse. You try again. You are immediately resilient because you bounced back.
You didn’t quit.
You kept going.
You are resilient.
And the more times we fall off that horse, the more times we get to practice resiliency.
This reminds me of a time when my step-dad rode one of our family horses, named Fury. White small horse. He just hopped on without a saddle. Fury stopped. Hard stopped dead in her tracks, step-dad went flying over her head and landed on his butt/wallet. Fury just stood there like, you dickhead, you think you can ride me? lol Anyway…
Practicing resiliency allows us to get better in the way of minimizing the ick time between when we learn something that is causing us pain in some way to moving on through it, and getting back on that horse.
We will always face obstacles, challenges, adversity… The idea that we won’t is a false level of entitlement.
Probably more recently stemming from advertisements and marketing that we are working toward “retirement” where we do nothing but sit on the beach and drink piña coladas.
If we can truly accept adversity, allow it, not approve it of course, but deep down, say yes, this is here (because it literally is), then we can move through it. Grow through it.
Approaching it from a “grow” through it mentality instead of a “go” through it mentality, offers an optimistic perspective that allows the resiliency to take hold and do its thing.
Growing is really just a process of uncovering what’s already in you. Diana Knezevici, an Embodied Leadership Coach, explains that resiliency isn’t something you find; it’s something that finds you.”
I believe that resiliency is in each and every one of us. Like it’s something. That isn’t that you go out and find, it’s by virtue of facing challenges, that’s already found you and. You are already resilient. Every loss, hardship, disappointment, rejection, all of that is already in the fabric of your human existence. -Diana
But what does practicing resiliency look like tangibly? I asked Sheila Kofahl, a former real estate agent who navigated the 2008 crash and is now founder of And Then She Did, Women’s Hiking Adventure company, and she shared this perfect analogy of a tree in a storm.
So when I think of the word resilient, I, oh, I kind of come to like the vision or visual of a tree in a hurricane or a windstorm and watching it bend or seeing it, it bend in its trunk and.
How rigid that that wood is. But yet in a storm, it bends and it, it doesn’t break. It flexes. And just that visualization or analogy, uh, resilient to me means weathering the storm and bending in ways you didn’t even know you could. Um, and coming back stronger. Um. That’s what I think resiliency means.
Getting through the storms and coming back stronger, carry that forward to my new business. And then she did, uh, which is curated trips for women and resiliency first year in the business. It, it’s tough out there. It’s a competitive market. Not everyone can afford to travel. Right now the economy’s a little bit in question.
Uh, people are. People are being protective of their, their bank accounts and what they’re going to do with their funds. Um, but being resilient right now means weathering the current storm and coming out stronger. On the other side, it means staying my course. It means, you know, knowing that there will be storms coming and, and it’s up to me to flex and bend, and maybe that means.
Looking at other options, um, different ways to grow this business. Uh, but resiliency is, it’s a huge word, a big word, and it’s a compliment. If someone says, I’m resilient, I, I makes me smile. Yeah. I am resilient and I can weather the storm and it may be tough, but it’s something I’ll get through just like anyone else.
Uh, we just have to flex and bend and visualize that tree and. Come out stronger on the other side. -Sheila
Bending without breaking. That is the goal. So how do we learn to bend?
Here are 6 ways to build resiliency, in no particular order…
[1] Refocus Your Attention
When you refocus your attention to something else, you move away from the ‘ick’. Your brain can only handle one thought at a time.
[2] Phone a Friend
In particular, another business owner because they can relate and share their stories so you can feel inspired and not alone. Do it outside, face to face at lunch or out on a walk is best in my opinion.
This community aspect is impactful. Leslie Marshall, the owner of Wyldflower Nomad, hit a point where she was ready to retire her brand. But listen to how reaching out and pivoting saved her business.
My business right now is approaching two and a half, almost three years, and. The first year was wonderful. I loved designing shirts and I had so much fun making them. And then as the year went on, you know, there were different things that were harder.
Um, and of course it’s always a side hustle for me, um, ’cause I have a day job as well. And then this past July, I was like, you know what, I’m just gonna retire it. I gave it a good shot. And it’s not going well. So I’m just gonna retire the brand at the end of the year and just gonna write it out. And that August and September were one of my biggest months ever.
I got five custom orders, orders in the three and four hundreds, and it just took off again. And then I did a couple festivals and in a couple of stores and I was just. Blown away. I couldn’t believe it. And I’m so glad that I had the grit and the resiliency to keep going. -Leslie
She went from almost retiring her brand to her biggest months ever because she leaned on community and reinvented herself. Okay, point number three…
[3] Less Social Media
Notice I didn’t say “no” social media. It can have its place as a marketing channel.
A favorite tactic for almost anything that ails you these days. lol But seriously, try it. My favorite way to experience how this can benefit your insides is go full on unplugged for 24-48 hours.
In fact, I did this yesterday on Thanksgiving. I didn’t go full on unplugged, but I didn’t open social media. I texted some friends and used my phone for the camera, maps and podcast listening. It turned out to be such a peaceful day.
Random note… I had to tear myself away from work. I enjoy working. Working for me is doing client work or improving my business. Stone and I went to Saguaro Lake, about 45 minutes NE of me, to check out some trails. And I wanted to work with his training off leash hoping there wouldn't be any dogs around. It turned out to be so lovely. Stone played in the water, we walked and soaked up the sun. I didn't even take my phone. I left it in the car. Yeah, I know. I'm a daredevil.
[4] Acknowledge & Accept
When you truly accept it’s real, allow that it is real, it will pass through and move on. One way adversity presents itself to me is in what I call ‘down days’. I will have a day where I am feeling unusually down in the dumps, for whatever reason.
They happen.
I can’t stop them and I can move through them faster.
Sometimes in a matter of minutes, sometimes next day.
I used to find myself asking Why did I do that? Or worried about what could happen. That prolongs the ick. It keeps you from moving through and to the other side.
[5] Find Optimism
This doesn’t mean pretending or ignoring but being aware and believing that everything will work itself out. Dare I use the word hope here? I’m not a fan of that word aaaaand I think it is adjacent to optimism.
Optimism often requires silencing that inner critic. Isabel Chen, a Data Driven Content Manager + Strategist, suggests we actually write down our wins to prove that voice wrong.
Show your brain that you’ve really got what it takes to do it.
Another tip I would share is that you could actually write down a list. Of things that have gone well for you and your life and your business, no matter how small it is, because when you have that visual list in front of you, there is no way self-doubt and fear is great creeping, and it doesn’t have to be really big wins can be something as small as I made myself breakfast three times a day instead of eating crappy junk food.
Something, a small step because it’s gonna show you how capable you are and how much you can do when you really step up there. -Isabel
Proof. That is what your brain needs. Proof that you are capable.
[6] Respond Intentionally
The shit doesn’t have to hit the fan! There is a moment between when we feel angry or scared or whatever and how we respond or act to it. That’s your in.
That ‘in’… that moment of pause… is where we find open-mindness and detachment. We heard from Diana near the start of the episode, and she believes this is how we truly increase our capacity for handling difficulty by not letting those heavy emotions stick.
Because when you actually accept the event that has happened and you have, you come from a place of neutrality towards it, that’s when you begin to lighten the load and you are able to approach life from an empowered state. And that, to me is an example of increasing your capacity where your resiliency has now.
Gotten more like you are more resilient because the next time that you’re faced with a similar challenge, right? Like, um, as you’re moving through life, you continuously receive similar experiences based on your soul’s path to have the lessons that you’re meant to learn. And every time that you’re faced with that challenge, you handle it from a different lens.
When you have grown, when you have become a better, higher version of yourself, because you are no longer associated with that heaviness, that negativity, that hard. Sensations that you carry with you and it doesn’t stick to you anymore. So your capacity to hold more than has increased, therefore making you more resilient. -Diana
That ick feeling doesn’t stick to you anymore. That is the ultimate intentional response.
Now this list isn’t created with the intention of you doing every one of these every day. [That’s not realistic.]
One way to approach this list is when you feel adversity, pick one item and do it.
The Takeaway
Strengthening your resiliency muscle helps to shorten the length of time of adversity and lets you get back to doing what you do so well in the world with your business.
Get back on that horse. Every. Time.
Thank you to Sheila, Diana, Leslie and Isabel for their time to contribute their advice on resiliency. If you’d like to talk with any of them or are interested in what they do, you can find their contact information at the top of the page.
