In my latest episode, I explore lateral mentoring—the idea of trading expertise with peers instead of only seeking advice from someone higher up. We cover why this approach fits the way entrepreneurs actually work and outline simple ways to spot potential mentors (and mentees) in your existing circle. It’s a clear, practical take on growing skills and connections without adding extra projects to the mix.
🔗 Websites & Resources Mentioned
1. Deborah’s website
👉 https://www.deborahheiser.com/
2. The Mentor Project
👉 https://mentorproject.org/
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Why Mentorship Sits in Our “Sweet Spot”
Deborah’s research as an applied developmental psychologist shows we’re wired for generativity—that itch to give back—around age 40 (though it’s a sliding window). At that stage, we’ve racked up skills, stories, and a fair bit of scar tissue. Mentoring lets us pass that hard-won know-how on to the next crew while scratching the “I-want-to-matter” itch.
Lateral Mentoring 101
Traditional mentoring feels like a ladder: someone higher up pulls you along. Lateral mentoring flips the script. You look left and right, not up, and trade expertise with peers:
- Different domains, shared goals. A hardware whiz taps a software genius. A designer swaps ideas with a copywriter.
- No job-stealing paranoia. You’re not in competition; you’re in collaboration.
- Human Google effect. Need an answer? Ping a peer and keep projects moving.
Deborah saw this superpower in action at a hackers’ convention—and in the birth of the network firewall, where Bell Labs legend Bill Cheswick rolled his chair down the hall to lean on a colleague’s know-how for months.
Where It Thrives
- Entrepreneurs & small-biz owners. When you’re the boss, there’s no “higher-up” to call.
- Founding teams. Think about the U.S. Founding Fathers—each brought a distinct specialty to the table.
- Any scrappy project crew. If the org chart is flat, lateral mentoring keeps momentum high.
How Long Does Mentoring Last?
- One-off boost. Deborah once whispered Kappa-stat instructions over the phone to a panicked classmate. Problem solved—mentor badge earned.
- Slow-burn partnership. Cheswick and his peer worked together for months, wrote a book, then moved on.
- As long as it serves a goal. When the project’s done—or the aha moment hits—the mentoring phase can end naturally.
Five Must-Haves for Any Mentoring Relationship
- Generativity. A genuine urge to give or receive.
- Intrinsic motivation. No one’s getting paid or forced; both sides just want in.
- Meaningful connection. You actually like and trust each other.
- Trust. Share ideas without fear of theft or judgment.
- A clear goal. “Let’s fix this firewall,” “Teach me Kappa stats,” or “Help me audit my SEO.” No goal, no mentoring.
Quick-Start Playbook
- Scan your circle. Who already sits beside you at events, masterminds, or Slack chats? That’s fertile ground.
- Ask the magic question. “What’s your sweet spot right now?” People light up when you dig for their zone of genius.
- Give first. Share a resource, make an intro, review a proposal. Reciprocity snowballs.
- Name it. Saying “Thanks for mentoring me on that” strengthens the bond and nudges both of you to do it again.
Your Takeaway
You’ve already been a mentor and a mentee—maybe today, definitely tomorrow. Look left, look right, and start the exchange.
